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" "Somebody else's pants."The teacher came up with a good problem. After a long silence, one freshman rose to his feet. Go stand in the hall," responds the teacher with disgust. " "I'm leaving, teacher, I'm leaving...""Isn't the principal a dummy! A logging company exports its wood-finishing jobs to its Indonesian subsidiary and lays off the corresponding half of its US workers (the higher-paid half)."Suppose," she asked the second-graders, "there were a dozen sheep and six of them jumped over a fence. "Now then mister, why do you consider yourself an idiot? "Well, actually I don't," said the student, "but I hate to see you standing up there all by yourself."The science teacher lecturing his class in biology said, "Now I'll show you this frog in my pocket." He then reached into his pocket and pulled out a chicken sandwich. It clear-cuts 95% of the forest, leaving the rest for the spotted owl, and lays off all its remaining US workers.I'm going to have a talk with your teacher about this ... " The little girl replied, "My homework."A teacher was having trouble teaching arithmetic to one little boy. If I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got? " The neighbor yells back, "You put him to sleep, you wake him up! "No." "I'm the principal's daughter." "And do you know who I am? How much capital gain per share does the CEO make by exercising his stock options at ?
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If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen?
If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?
Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?
Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?
Mom and dad are a little worried about this and go to his room to see if he is okay. "You have, Your Honor," the man answered hopefully. "Toughest spelling test I ever had."A little kid's in school, taking a true-false test and he's flipping a coin.