Physical affection christian dating
In fact, for some it may be a proper complement that only deepens meaning after marriage. A common passage used against touch in courtship is 1 Corinthians 7:1-2. “Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: [It is] good for a man not to touch a woman.
This can be problematic because when a couple makes a declaration like that, they will likely quit communicating about it. It has plenty to say about marriage, immorality, sexual sin, and purity; but it doesn’t really go into details about physical touch in courtship. Nevertheless, [to avoid] fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.” in this passage means something more than holding hands or placing your arm around her shoulder.
If you’re not ready to say “I will spend my life with you even when things get hard and we both become ugly,” you should probably not have much physical touch.
As long as you match your words of endearment and physical touch with the level of your commitment you will not regret it.
But just because you touch doesn’t mean you’ve committed sexual sin. Will they snuggle, or does there need to be a cattle trough between the two of them as they hold hands?
In fact, if the relationship is committed to marriage, holding hands can be an appropriate expression of that commitment. Communication about their touch is key to maintaining clarity and safety in the relationship whether a couple touches or not.
In Ephesians 5, Paul talks about how we imitate God and walk in wisdom.
In verse 15, He says, implies that I’m carefully looking at my surroundings.
It’s not wrong—perfectly good and natural for a couple pursuing marriage. Several times throughout our engagement, Teresa and I quit holding hands for a while because it felt like we were beginning to rely on it as they primary way of feeling secure. If you’re not committed to marriage, holding hands can make it feel like you are.
I thought our Dad’s would make the decision for us, but that’s not what happened. While I’m confident the motives are right, many people have developed the idea that if a couple has any physical touch in courtship they are giving in to fleshly desires, and sinning. When that couple gets married, touch no longer fills the void and something else becomes the obsession, maybe even leaving touch out altogether.